"Bad Mother"

Today I became a Facebook fan of the book Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace, by Ayelet Waldman.

Here are a few "shameful" facts about me as a mother:
1. I let my kid eat food that falls onto the kitchen floor, and I don't always observe the 5-second rule. Or the 30-second rule, for that matter.
2. After an Easter weekend of misjudgment that involved Raffi, 400+ miles of driving and my 6-disc changer, I've officially refused to listen to children's music. He gets enough of it at daycare, anyway. Blech.
3. Sometimes I giggle when my son falls down (but only if he doesn't get hurt!).
4. I used to rinse his hair carefully after shampooing him, so that water didn't get into his eyes. Now I just repeatedly dump a bucket of bath water over his head. He thinks it's kind of fun.
5. I let him drink coffee.
6. I laugh when he farts, and he's learning to laugh at it too (although, being a boy, he's actually born with that gene, I think).
7. I swear in front of him, although I am really REALLY trying not to.
8. There have been moments -- more and more as he gets bigger and more willful -- that I wish wish WISH he would watch television.
9. There have been days when I was relieved to drop him off at daycare, and worn out at the thought of picking him up.
10. I often forget to brush his teeth.

There's more -- much, much more. The little things, which don't seem so little to me when I'm stressed and feeling like I'm getting more and more behind with each passing day...For instance, the house cleaning issue: although we eat off clean plates and wear clean clothes, I can't keep the floors vacuumed and washed and shiny. My refrigerator needs to be cleaned out and organized (I'm afraid at what might be lurking in the back of it). There are piles of paperwork that need to be organized and filed, going back to before Andrew was born. There's clutter everywhere.

There are home improvement projects to complete, or even just to begin. There's a baby book to do. Old family photos to scan. Windows to wash. Gutter guys to call -- the gutters MUST be replaced this year. There are old magazines to recycle and books to donate to the library book sale. There is dirty laundry to wash and clean laundry to put away.

My house isn't spotless and tidy. Somehow, though, my son seems happy, well-adjusted, highly verbal, and very people-oriented. He much prefers being read books over watching television. He can help me count to two, and sometimes three, and he's not yet 18 months old. He's successfully (although definitely not consistently) pooped and peed in the potty. He will usually help clean up his messes when asked. He knows how to hold a book, and how to turn the pages without ripping them.

What makes a good (or bad) mother? Is it nurture, or nature, or both? And if it's both, how much of each? I've just finished listening to Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point (I know, I'm a few years behind on that), which seems to think it's 50/50.

Language Explosion!

LOTS more words and comprehension these days -- in fact, it's possible to have a conversation with Andrew! Here are some of his newer words:

"Melmo!" ("Elmo")
"No"
"Yeah"
"Car"
"Truck"
"Bvooon" (Balloon)
"Vroom"
"Tick Tock"
"Beep Beep"
"Mi" (Grammy)
"Seat"
"Cheese"

He likes the word 'no' so much that we often hear him on the baby monitor, first thing in the morning, doing a 'no' monologue.

I'm typing this while waiting for the blueberry oat muffins to finish baking. I often wonder why I'm tired most of the time. Days like today explain why:

Wake up at 6:00 a.m. Get Roo and myself ready for daycare/work.
7:30-ish (depending on morning tantrums) dropoff.
Work 8:00-3:00 (usually until at least 4:00, but today I had to leave early for an oil change)
3:30-4:30 Oil change, plus it turns out the car was due for a tire rotation AND engine and cabin filter changes, the total for which set me back $213.00
4:30 Go to BJ's for milk and toilet paper. Also snag 250 extra-large sheets of white drawing paper for Roo to color on later.
5:15 pick up Roo from daycare. Get home, change clothes.
5:30 Grammy arrives; I can start making Roo's supper now (tonight was strawberries, veggie sticks, cheese, and milk)
5:45-6:20 videochat with Daddy, eat supper (Mommy had a hot dog and salad)
6:20-6:50 Hang out and play with Grammy and Roo -- he loves the number flash cards we bought for him (and no, we're not "Those" kinds of parents), play outside, water strawberries and flowers
6:50-7:20 Bedtime
7:30-8:30 Kitchen cleanup, feed the dog, make blueberry oat muffins...

...and here I am! Now I just have to find the energy to take a shower before bed.

Man, are we busy!

It's been almost three months since I last posted -- probably because the Roo is keeping us mighty busy. He had his 15-month checkup in March: 28 lbs; 31.5 inches. 75th-80th percentile for height and weight. He feels like he's in the 200th percentile when I pick him up, though!

His current favorite words are "car," "truck," and "vroom." He's also quite fond of saying "Yayyy!" and clapping his hands. Totally cute. Oh, and he's gotten very proficient at the word "no." Darn.

We planted strawberries in a hanging planter about a month ago, and flower seeds a couple of weeks ago. The strawberry plants are growing well, and a couple of days ago the flower seeds came up! Daddy is doing a square foot vegetable garden this summer. Fun for the whole family! A couple of weekends ago, Daddy built Roo a very fine sandbox, which will be ready after a couple of coats of sealer and some sand.

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed (after a series of MRIs) with a Chiari I Malformation. It may explain my frequent headaches, fatique, neck pain, and other annoying symptoms I've experienced since I was a teenager. I have a consult with a neurosurgeon next week.

Last weekend we visited my father, my sister and her family in Maine. I hadn't seen most of my family in 20+ years. It was a fabulous reunion -- lots of folks from both my father's and my mother's side of the family. The sad part is that I haven't gotten around to mentioning to Mom yet that I'm back in touch with everyone (it won't go well, I'm fairly sure).

Going to bed soon. It's 80 degrees here right now. It was 93 when I left work!

Walking and Talking

Well, he took his time, but Roo is pretty much a full-time walker now. Just over the past week or so he's decided that walking is more fun than crawling. Daddy and I installed a baby gate at the top of the stairs this weekend, but oh my, we have so much more babyproofing to do. Case in point: I caught Roo playing in the toilet when I left him alone for 3 seconds tonight. Eww. Grody-ness aside, it's dangerous. Must put toilet lock on.

Roo now says "Bob" ("ba"); "Scout" ("ga"); "more" ("maaaahhh"); "ball" ("baaahh"); "dada;" "mama" (only occasionally -frown-); "truck;" "tree;" and probably some more that we just haven't deciphered yet. Oh yeah, "uh-oh" ("uh!").

Tonight I made fish-in-foil (cod steamed in foil packets in the oven), steamed broccoli, and Israeli couscous with veggies mixed in. Andrew chowed down on the broccoli and fish especially. I am so proud of him! Oh, a couple of weeks ago we started with peanut butter (from a jar I'd been working on, so I'm pretty sure there was no salmonella lurking); and he did fine. There's no history of peanut allergy in the family, so I hope we continue with the PB -- a quick, nutritious protein that I don't have to cook!

We were all sick over Christmas -- we had it all: upper respiratory infections, bronchitis, stomach flu (Mommy spent Christmas day puking), ear infections (Roo's right eardrum nearly ruptured at one point). It sucked. I hope the current respite continues (everyone knock wood).

Andrew likes to shake his head "no" now, when you ask him a question. Great. Can't wait for toddlerhood...

Seriously, though, I love this child madly. Of course he does the requisite irritating toddler things, but overall (and again, knock wood), he's happy, bright, sweet, and not a holy terror. Good lord, I hope I didn't just tempt fate by typing that. Are all mothers this superstitious?