I am my own Macy's parade

I feel like a balloon. And not a beautiful, rainbow-striped, buoyant hot-air balloon like you see on office motivational posters. Oh no, I am a soggy water balloon, filled to near-bursting with stagnant grody pond water.



(not me)

Despite drinking vast amounts (up to 100 oz) of water daily, which I began doing to increase our amniotic fluid levels -- and it seems to have worked -- I'm still retaining water like crazy. I'm usually a leg-sitter: i.e. I like to tuck one leg up under my butt when sitting in a chair. I can't do that now (feels like my leg skin is going to split open). My face is puffy like a marshmallow. I've had to move rings to smaller fingers. And of course I have the carpal tunnel problem, caused by what else but fluid retention. The physical therapist's office has yet to call me back for an appointment, though. Argh.

I've reduced my salt and caffeine intake (only 1 small cup of coffee a day, and that's mostly milk). If I don't have just a little jolt of caffeine each morning, I'll end up with a migraine, which will send me home to bed, which would waste a precious day of sick time that I'm saving up for maternity leave. So I need the one cup of coffee.

I guess I can try and reduce salt even more. I've heard that calcium supplements help reduce swelling, too. Also potassium. So, yogurt and bananas and potatoes-with-the-skins-on, here I come! Hide your women and children!

Ironically, despite the huge quantities of water that I'm consuming, the skin on my hands is still dry and scaly. This has been a lifelong problem with me; it doesn't seem to have anything to do with hydration levels. I think it's my thyroid, though that's been tested a few times over the past several months.

Pregnancy is a fascinating physiological process. As a coworker said to me, though, the other day: "The last month is what gives pregnancy a bad rap." ;-)

We had 65 trick-or-treaters tonight! Mom and I sat outside, since it was such a nice night. Halfway through the evening, my black (outdoor) male cat decided to sit on the stoop next to us, glowing yellow eyes and all -- how seasonally appropriate! Bob had to stay inside most of the evening, but a few preschoolers did ask to "pet" him, and he was very sweet while they proceeded to whack him on his sensitive little nose (as it seems all preschoolers are wont to do when "petting" animals). He is such a good boy!

36 Weeks, 1 Day - Checkup

Dr. S said pleasantly today, "Officially, if you go into labor now, no one will try and stop you." Oy!

We are up to the 50th percentile for amniotic fluid! -- which is damn near perfect, since you don't want to be in the upper echelons, either (equally dangereuse). Today's ultrasound tech estimated Murky at around 5 lbs. 15 oz, and Dr. S said we're on track for a not-too huge, just-right-sized baby. Unless I go overdue...

My coworkers have started a due date/weight/length pool -- any guesses out there? Had a couple of Braxton Hicks contractions last night, but nothing "serious."

I've gained 30 lbs so far. I'm supposed to get a call from a physical therapist today so I can be fitted for wrist braces for the carpal tunnel syndrome...so I can get some sleep at night. Which would be lovely.

I really have absolutely, positively no motivation to come to work anymore. I want to nest, to be home with Murky, to be safe and cozy and focus all of my energy on him (not the whiny babies I have to deal with at work). Alas, I still have that mortgage...

New Episode of "Fun With Pregnancy!"

That's right, folks, here's a new symptom:

Pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel syndrome.

Apparently, water retention irritates the carpal tunnel, which causes tingling, numbness and pain. Which is exactly what's been waking me up, several times a night, for the last several nights. I'll ask my doctor about it tomorrow, but I have to say it's extremely annoying.

To spare my carpal tunnels, I'm going to stop typing now!

Oh, and...

...and my hair is really oily and limp these days. Gross. Hormones.

Gotta start using a clarifying shampoo.

Full Circle

They're not kidding when they say that the second trimester is the "honeymoon" period of pregnancy -- the exhaustion goes away, you're still not too big to do normal things (like roll over in bed or wipe yourself easily after using the toilet), the nosebleeds subside...

I'm officially not enjoying this last month of pregnancy, at least not 100%. Tonight I had the worst nosebleed of the past 8 months, and my feet have ballooned up. I can't sit comfortably on the couch anymore -- hell, I can't sit anywhere comfortably anymore. And sitting and standing aren't so hot, either. My legs are swollen; I normally like to sit with a leg tucked under my butt. Now it feels like my leg skin is going to split open when I do that.

Oh, and the tiredness. Now that I'm drinking upwards of 100 oz of water a day, in hopes that Murky's amniotic fluid will stay at acceptable levels, I'm back to peeing at least twice during the night. And when I first lie down in bed at night, I get this weird desire to make lists of things that still have to be done before Murky arrives. We still haven't written the birth plan (even though we know they usually go out the window when "the real thing" is happening). We have to sign and fax back the cord blood registry paperwork. And my god, there still aren't any blinds in the nursery!!! We must not love our child! He's going to feel like he's sleeping on the sun!

I think I'm nesting. What I'd most like to spend the weekend doing is scrubbing my bathrooms, putting away cluttery items, deep-cleaning cupboards, floors, cabinets, and other crevices in the house. I want all of Murky's clothes washed, sorted by size and type (sleepers, long-sleeved, short-sleeved, etc.), and put away. I want the windows washed. I want to clean out the refrigerator. I want to put up wall shelves in the nursery and I want to put Murky's little board books on them -- alphabetically, of course.

Trouble is, all of that takes so damn much energy! All I managed to do tonight was 1 load of (my own) laundry and balance my checkbook. I didn't even pay any bills. I was supposed to go grocery shopping, but Grammy ended up doing that (even though she has a cold and doesn't feel very well). That was nice of her -- now we have enough Halloween candy for next week. That is, if the Pregnant Elephant doesn't eat it all before then...

Murky's been very busy today. All in all, he's been good to Mama, despite a few ninja kicks to the ribs and multiple head twists on the cervix and/or bladder. I still can't fathom that, within a few weeks, there's going to be this little person in my arms. Right now he's a fuzzy image on an ultrasound, a foot or knee or hand bulging out of my belly, a heartbeat on the Doppler. But he's going to be a person, with a name and a personality and a cry, and maybe Daddy's pretty green eyes or Mommy's chipmunk cheeks. We are all looking forward to meeting him!

Big Life Changes

It's interesting how one's life changes with pregnancy and, of course, the birth of a child. I don't have experience as to the latter, but I do with the former.

One big change: It's really not about you anymore. Not that I mind; given the last several years of my life in particular, I'm happy to fade into the background. It seems that MDad and I have easily done so, at least with regard to some people that we considered close friends. I suppose it's natural, considering the timing and nature of how our relationship came to be. But it has been interesting noting the differences in how our group of friends has handled one another's ups and downs, changes in life circumstances, and changes in life partners, in person and "though the grapevine" (which have, in many cases, been 180 degrees different). Talk gets around, I suppose.

But anyway, it's not about me anymore. It's about us. The three of us and our life together. I am blessed with a wonderful man who loves me enough to put up with our crazy set of geographical/job/mortgage circumstances right now, with my crazy mother, and with my crazy mood swings. I know how much he loves our son by the look in his eyes when he picked out Murky's first Christmas outfit last weekend, or by the sadness he feels when we talk about the reality of living separately, even temporarily, after the baby is born. He has spent countless hours these past months mowing my lawn, doing repairs at my house and working on the nursery, shopping for baby things, attending childbirth and newborn care classes and doctor's appointments with me, and holding me when I cry uncontrollably for no known reason. At last Friday's ultrasound, he tenderly wiped the ultrasound gel from my belly when the tech was done, a gesture that nearly made me weep.

I love this good, good man. He is my best friend.

Not a happy camper

What the hell is wrong with people today? Has everyone decided to jump on the Cranky Train??? Work is a nightmare today.

Today has been a steady stream of people with problems, demands, issues, bad moods, etc. -- most of which are their own damn fault. Not mine. Sorry guys; I'm walking around with an extra 30 pounds, I'm tired from waking up several times in the middle of the night, I have swollen ankles, heartburn, vomit burps, and a nonexistent bladder, and I still manage to keep from having temper tantrums at work. Do you think you could maybe try and do the same? Is that really too much to ask? Grow the hell up.

I would love to go home and go to bed early tonight, but I have to do laundry and housecleaning and at least make up a grocery list so I can go shopping tomorrow night. And it turns out I have to be in earlier than usual tomorrow morning to meet with a flooring guy to go over carpet samples before I then have to spend the rest of the morning doing preliminary interviews with 5 job candidates. Then I have a working lunch with 2 staff members, and then at some point my whiniest (emotionally retarded) staff member is going to show up in my office to discuss "some things." Ugh.

At last night's pediatrician open house, one of the couples that was in our childbirth class was also in attendance. The mom-to-be is due in 9 days, and she has recently stopped working (she's going back in March). Oh, how lovely that would be. Her ankles, which she had put up all day (including during her naps), were sleek and slender. I have angry red dents in my calves where my socks have become too tight for my bloated legs and feet. It is so attractive. And despite the fact that I consumed about 100 oz of liquids (mostly water) yesterday, my hands are still dry and papery, and my ring still doesn't fit onto its usual finger. How is that possible? Isn't drinking vast amounts of water supposed to reduce fluid retention?