"Bad Mother"

Today I became a Facebook fan of the book Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace, by Ayelet Waldman.

Here are a few "shameful" facts about me as a mother:
1. I let my kid eat food that falls onto the kitchen floor, and I don't always observe the 5-second rule. Or the 30-second rule, for that matter.
2. After an Easter weekend of misjudgment that involved Raffi, 400+ miles of driving and my 6-disc changer, I've officially refused to listen to children's music. He gets enough of it at daycare, anyway. Blech.
3. Sometimes I giggle when my son falls down (but only if he doesn't get hurt!).
4. I used to rinse his hair carefully after shampooing him, so that water didn't get into his eyes. Now I just repeatedly dump a bucket of bath water over his head. He thinks it's kind of fun.
5. I let him drink coffee.
6. I laugh when he farts, and he's learning to laugh at it too (although, being a boy, he's actually born with that gene, I think).
7. I swear in front of him, although I am really REALLY trying not to.
8. There have been moments -- more and more as he gets bigger and more willful -- that I wish wish WISH he would watch television.
9. There have been days when I was relieved to drop him off at daycare, and worn out at the thought of picking him up.
10. I often forget to brush his teeth.

There's more -- much, much more. The little things, which don't seem so little to me when I'm stressed and feeling like I'm getting more and more behind with each passing day...For instance, the house cleaning issue: although we eat off clean plates and wear clean clothes, I can't keep the floors vacuumed and washed and shiny. My refrigerator needs to be cleaned out and organized (I'm afraid at what might be lurking in the back of it). There are piles of paperwork that need to be organized and filed, going back to before Andrew was born. There's clutter everywhere.

There are home improvement projects to complete, or even just to begin. There's a baby book to do. Old family photos to scan. Windows to wash. Gutter guys to call -- the gutters MUST be replaced this year. There are old magazines to recycle and books to donate to the library book sale. There is dirty laundry to wash and clean laundry to put away.

My house isn't spotless and tidy. Somehow, though, my son seems happy, well-adjusted, highly verbal, and very people-oriented. He much prefers being read books over watching television. He can help me count to two, and sometimes three, and he's not yet 18 months old. He's successfully (although definitely not consistently) pooped and peed in the potty. He will usually help clean up his messes when asked. He knows how to hold a book, and how to turn the pages without ripping them.

What makes a good (or bad) mother? Is it nurture, or nature, or both? And if it's both, how much of each? I've just finished listening to Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point (I know, I'm a few years behind on that), which seems to think it's 50/50.

Language Explosion!

LOTS more words and comprehension these days -- in fact, it's possible to have a conversation with Andrew! Here are some of his newer words:

"Melmo!" ("Elmo")
"No"
"Yeah"
"Car"
"Truck"
"Bvooon" (Balloon)
"Vroom"
"Tick Tock"
"Beep Beep"
"Mi" (Grammy)
"Seat"
"Cheese"

He likes the word 'no' so much that we often hear him on the baby monitor, first thing in the morning, doing a 'no' monologue.

I'm typing this while waiting for the blueberry oat muffins to finish baking. I often wonder why I'm tired most of the time. Days like today explain why:

Wake up at 6:00 a.m. Get Roo and myself ready for daycare/work.
7:30-ish (depending on morning tantrums) dropoff.
Work 8:00-3:00 (usually until at least 4:00, but today I had to leave early for an oil change)
3:30-4:30 Oil change, plus it turns out the car was due for a tire rotation AND engine and cabin filter changes, the total for which set me back $213.00
4:30 Go to BJ's for milk and toilet paper. Also snag 250 extra-large sheets of white drawing paper for Roo to color on later.
5:15 pick up Roo from daycare. Get home, change clothes.
5:30 Grammy arrives; I can start making Roo's supper now (tonight was strawberries, veggie sticks, cheese, and milk)
5:45-6:20 videochat with Daddy, eat supper (Mommy had a hot dog and salad)
6:20-6:50 Hang out and play with Grammy and Roo -- he loves the number flash cards we bought for him (and no, we're not "Those" kinds of parents), play outside, water strawberries and flowers
6:50-7:20 Bedtime
7:30-8:30 Kitchen cleanup, feed the dog, make blueberry oat muffins...

...and here I am! Now I just have to find the energy to take a shower before bed.

Man, are we busy!

It's been almost three months since I last posted -- probably because the Roo is keeping us mighty busy. He had his 15-month checkup in March: 28 lbs; 31.5 inches. 75th-80th percentile for height and weight. He feels like he's in the 200th percentile when I pick him up, though!

His current favorite words are "car," "truck," and "vroom." He's also quite fond of saying "Yayyy!" and clapping his hands. Totally cute. Oh, and he's gotten very proficient at the word "no." Darn.

We planted strawberries in a hanging planter about a month ago, and flower seeds a couple of weeks ago. The strawberry plants are growing well, and a couple of days ago the flower seeds came up! Daddy is doing a square foot vegetable garden this summer. Fun for the whole family! A couple of weekends ago, Daddy built Roo a very fine sandbox, which will be ready after a couple of coats of sealer and some sand.

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed (after a series of MRIs) with a Chiari I Malformation. It may explain my frequent headaches, fatique, neck pain, and other annoying symptoms I've experienced since I was a teenager. I have a consult with a neurosurgeon next week.

Last weekend we visited my father, my sister and her family in Maine. I hadn't seen most of my family in 20+ years. It was a fabulous reunion -- lots of folks from both my father's and my mother's side of the family. The sad part is that I haven't gotten around to mentioning to Mom yet that I'm back in touch with everyone (it won't go well, I'm fairly sure).

Going to bed soon. It's 80 degrees here right now. It was 93 when I left work!

Walking and Talking

Well, he took his time, but Roo is pretty much a full-time walker now. Just over the past week or so he's decided that walking is more fun than crawling. Daddy and I installed a baby gate at the top of the stairs this weekend, but oh my, we have so much more babyproofing to do. Case in point: I caught Roo playing in the toilet when I left him alone for 3 seconds tonight. Eww. Grody-ness aside, it's dangerous. Must put toilet lock on.

Roo now says "Bob" ("ba"); "Scout" ("ga"); "more" ("maaaahhh"); "ball" ("baaahh"); "dada;" "mama" (only occasionally -frown-); "truck;" "tree;" and probably some more that we just haven't deciphered yet. Oh yeah, "uh-oh" ("uh!").

Tonight I made fish-in-foil (cod steamed in foil packets in the oven), steamed broccoli, and Israeli couscous with veggies mixed in. Andrew chowed down on the broccoli and fish especially. I am so proud of him! Oh, a couple of weeks ago we started with peanut butter (from a jar I'd been working on, so I'm pretty sure there was no salmonella lurking); and he did fine. There's no history of peanut allergy in the family, so I hope we continue with the PB -- a quick, nutritious protein that I don't have to cook!

We were all sick over Christmas -- we had it all: upper respiratory infections, bronchitis, stomach flu (Mommy spent Christmas day puking), ear infections (Roo's right eardrum nearly ruptured at one point). It sucked. I hope the current respite continues (everyone knock wood).

Andrew likes to shake his head "no" now, when you ask him a question. Great. Can't wait for toddlerhood...

Seriously, though, I love this child madly. Of course he does the requisite irritating toddler things, but overall (and again, knock wood), he's happy, bright, sweet, and not a holy terror. Good lord, I hope I didn't just tempt fate by typing that. Are all mothers this superstitious?

Walkies!

A week ago, on Saturday, December 13, Roo took 2 steps to his daddy! Since then, he's managed to take a few more steps, but he's by no means stable on his feet. He's getting there, though. I would have posted this news sooner, but I've been ridiculously sick. Went to the doctor yesterday afternoon (finally) and was diagnosed with an upper respiratory tract infection and bronchitis. And now Roo and I both have to occasionally use Albuterol (I got a puffer yesterday). Yay. So, that's my one illness for the winter. I only allow myself one. So we're done with illness. For the winter. Right??? So why do I still wake up with a splitting sinus headache every morning?

We had a big old snowstorm yesterday afternoon/evening, so we're looking forward to putting Andrew in his snow clothes and letting him roll around in the snowdrifts :-) Hopefully we'll get some good pictures.

Andy-Roo Update

Roo turned 1 on November 28. We made a cake and even got to hang out with Grammy and some neighbors, and with Nan and Aunt K over the computer! Roo has been taking some spins around the neighborhood in his new big-boy Radio Flyer wagon from Daddy, and he cruises around the house behind his "bike" from grammy (a push toy for toddlers).

Roo isn't walking quite yet, but he can stand on his own for a few seconds at a time, when he feels like it. He'll walk when he's darn good and ready, and I'm fine with that (in fact, there's some evidence that suggests that babies who crawl longer have higher IQs later in life...something about using opposing arm/leg movements and how it helps the 2 halves of the brain work together...). He's happy, healthy (knock on wood) and getting quite vocal. He can reliably sign "more" and "dog," and he's working on "kitty." He can say "Dada," but for some reason I'm "Baba." He actuallly can say "Mama," but I guess he prefers the letter "B." I think it's adorable.

He loves the song "If You're Happy and You Know It," and he'll actually clap his hands or stomp his feet in response to the song and your actions. If you say "Peekaboo," he'll cover up his eyes with his hands. If you ask him where his belly is, he'll point to it, but if you ask him where is nose is, he'll point to yours. I think because he can't see it, he doesn't realize that he actually has a nose of his own!

He is an ebullient, flirty baby who loves being around people. In fact, sometimes it's a challenge finding a way to put him down for a few minutes. This evening, though, he contented himself with playing with some spare (clean) oven racks on the kitchen floor while I put his school dishes in the sink to soak and prepared supper. It's nice now that he doesn't scream each and every time we turn our backs for more than 5 seconds.

He's in a phase wherein he hates having his diaper changed, but screeches this loud, fake screech in protest. It's not his "hurt" cry. It's interesting -- he's getting to the point when he knows what he wants, anticipates getting it...and is VERY unhappy when he doesn't end up getting it! I guess they would call that "getting a personality," which is actually kind of exciting.

We gave up bottles just after his first birthday. He still nurses first thing in the morning and right before bed, and anytime he wants to when we're together, but otherwise when he's at school or it's daytime on weekends, it's sippy-cup only (organic whole cow's milk).* Woo hoo -- no more scrubbing and sterilizing nipples! More about Roo's diet and nutrition in another post...

At his one-year checkup, Roo weighed 25 pounds, 7.5 ounces and was 30.5 inches long. He's 50th-75th percentile for height, 75th-90th for weight, and 50th for head circumference. He amused the nurses with big belly-laughs when I blew raspberries on his tummy -- in fact, they told me he was the first happy baby they'd had all day. The poor things -- it was 4:00 p.m.!

Roo loves books. He'll actually say "Buhh" when picking up a book in the nursery in the morning or at night. This is not to be confused with "Booff," which is what he says when you ask him what the dog says. Then again, if you ask him what a kitty says, or what a cow says, or what a sheep says, the answer will invariably be "Boofff." I tell you, this kid loves the letter "B." And dogs, apparently.

He likes to point at things, especially lights, and it being Christmas, it's a good season for it. Every morning as we're leaving the nursery and I'm carrying him on my hip, I ask him to help Mommy by turning off the light switch. He knows he's supposed to touch it, but he hasn't quite mastered the concept of actually turning it off. All in good time, I suppose. I can imagine at some point, after trying to get him to give up turning the switch on and off for the 1,000th time, rueing the day I ever taught him what a light switch does...

When Andy-Roo smiles, it lights up his whole face. And the whole room. And our hearts. We are so lucky!

*Clarification: Roo still gets a bottle at night if he's being put to bed by someone other than Mommy (i.e. Daddy or a babysitter). I'm OK with it. He gets the bottle while being snuggled and rocked in the rocking chair; he's never ever taken a bottle to bed in the crib.

Milestones, 11 Months

The other morning, Andrew signed "more." He was in his high chair as I was flitting about the kitchen getting ready for work/daycare, and had apparently finished the handful of Cheerios I'd given him and was still hungry. I heard him whining a bit but didn't think much of it (he's frequently anxious to get going in the mornings), until I turned around and saw him putting his fingertips together in the sign for "more." I asked him if he wanted more...and he signed "more" again! Brilliant! Of course, he hasn't done it again since then...

He can say "Bob." Or, more accurately, "Bah." Still, he reliably says it when Bob is around, or when he's looking for or at Bob. Totally cute. Oh, and I'm convinced he tries to say "book" when we're looking at a book. And if you ask him what a cow says, he'll reply "Mmmmmmmmmmmmm." Close enough.

Another favorite vocalization is "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Not sure what it means (his teacher at daycare swears it means "eat," which wouldn't surprise me given how much food this kid can hoover down in the course of a day).

He seems to be weaning himself gradually. For the past week, including Saturday and Sunday, we haven't nursed during the day. He just doesn't seem that interested. He does still very much want to nurse first thing in the morning and right before bed, though, and I don't plan on giving those sessions up for the foreseeable future.

Last weekend he drank a little cow's milk from a cup. A big boy cup, without a sippy spout. He spilled most of it, of course, but he totally understands what a cup is for.

He eats just about everything now, except for the possibly allergenic/dangerous foods. He even tried a tiny bite of dill pickle last weekend -- and liked it, of course! Pasta, cheese, toast, cut up fruit and cooked vegetables are favorites.

He's still cruising -- not standing on his own, without support, but I'm honestly not anxious to see that happen yet -- I haven't completely babyproofed the house!