Wednesday, May 30, 2007

I hate the internet

Tonight I decided, quite innocently of course, to follow a link from BabyCenter.com about maternal blood testing in the early second trimester, for possible chromosomal defects in the fetus. If you listen to every site that's out there (and if you believe the sarcasm that follows), I have about a 1 in 2 chance of having a baby with Down Syndrome, Trisomy 18, spina bifida, or other. You know, because of my "advanced maternal age" of 32 (by the time the baby is born), etc. But anyway, it's scary, and I want to have the testing over and done with.

I think that the ambiguity of pregnancy must be designed to get you used to a lifetime of constant worrying after the birth. There are so many unknowns at this point -- the sex, the condition of the fetus, blah blah blah -- that I just can't help letting my mind wander and go to places it really shouldn't. I hate reading through message board posts and reading about people who lost babies to miscarriage or stillbirth and were even farther along in their pregnancies than I am right now. I thought BabyCenter told me I was basically out of the woods now that I'm into the second trimester!!! Then again, BabyCenter told me that right around this past weekend I should have experienced a huge surge of energy, which would last three months, which would be long enough to get my house and my life and everything ready for Baby before I turn into a lumbering buffalo (aka the third trimester). Right. From 5:30-8:30 each night, I'm comatose. After 8:30, I'm a semi-lumbering wildebeest.

Yesterday I ordered a 6-month rental of a fetal Doppler machine, so that we can listen to little Murky's heartbeat anytime we want. I can't wait until it arrives: DHL's website says it's still in Colorado right now, though :-( And I still haven't received my Bella Bands or my preggo underwear, and I'm already stretching out my Regular Lady wardrobe. I would like for at least just ONE pregnancy splurge to arrive!

I also need to do something about my car -- specifically, it's a 2-door coupe that, except for the fact that it's not actually a 2-seater, makes it just about the worst BabyMobile ever. I can't even get my dog into and out of the back seat, even unbuckled, these days. How the hell am I going to wrestle a baby in there? The answer is that I'm not. So in a couple of weeks (once the blood tests and 16-week visit are over), I'm calling my sales guy and we're gonna talk about breaking the lease and getting me in something more suitable. You know, like a Sherman tank. Ooh, that would be really safe! But does it have LATCH?

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