"We learn to fly not by becoming fearless, but by the daily practice of courage."
Sam Keen
Monday, September 24, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
What not to say to a pregnant woman
"Wow, you don't look 7 months pregnant! You don't even look 5 months pregnant!" (from a colleague this morning)
As someone who has suffered a miscarriage in the past, I'm not able to handle this comment rationally. What do you mean I don't look pregnant? I certainly feel pregnant. My baby is moving around vigorously and frequently. My OB seems to think everything is going fine. Just because I'm not a huge fat elephant doesn't mean that I'm not experiencing any of the "joys" of being pregnant -- sleeplessness, swollen feet, backache, greasy hair, headaches, nosebleeds, heartburn, frequent urination -- the list goes on and on.
I'm 5'7". My baby is spread out inside my belly. My belly doesn't stick out 2 feet, but neither is it nonexistent.
Instead of telling me that I don't look very pregnant, how about offering me a chair or a glass of water? How about a kind word? God knows I'm not getting any of those from my mother lately.
This is supposed to be a happy time, and I am miserable.
As someone who has suffered a miscarriage in the past, I'm not able to handle this comment rationally. What do you mean I don't look pregnant? I certainly feel pregnant. My baby is moving around vigorously and frequently. My OB seems to think everything is going fine. Just because I'm not a huge fat elephant doesn't mean that I'm not experiencing any of the "joys" of being pregnant -- sleeplessness, swollen feet, backache, greasy hair, headaches, nosebleeds, heartburn, frequent urination -- the list goes on and on.
I'm 5'7". My baby is spread out inside my belly. My belly doesn't stick out 2 feet, but neither is it nonexistent.
Instead of telling me that I don't look very pregnant, how about offering me a chair or a glass of water? How about a kind word? God knows I'm not getting any of those from my mother lately.
This is supposed to be a happy time, and I am miserable.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Parent Drama
You may or may not know that my mother has some severe emotional issues, which I won't detail here. Anyway, we've been going through another bad spell for the last few days, and I must say that it's very, very tough.
Just please remember, anyone who's reading this right now, that anything you say to your loved ones -- for whatever reason and no matter whether or not you mean it -- those words can never, ever be unsaid. I pledge to spend the rest of my life NOT saying or doing to my child the things my mother has said or done to me over the last 32 years.
Several weeks ago, I subscribed to daily inspirational messages from BeliefNet.com. Nothing too religious, just general pick-me-ups and tips for dealing with life. In my email inbox today are messages with the following subject headings:
"Child Abuse and Karma"
"Are You Ready for the Struggles Ahead?"
It's eerie. I can't wait to read them.
Just please remember, anyone who's reading this right now, that anything you say to your loved ones -- for whatever reason and no matter whether or not you mean it -- those words can never, ever be unsaid. I pledge to spend the rest of my life NOT saying or doing to my child the things my mother has said or done to me over the last 32 years.
Several weeks ago, I subscribed to daily inspirational messages from BeliefNet.com. Nothing too religious, just general pick-me-ups and tips for dealing with life. In my email inbox today are messages with the following subject headings:
"Child Abuse and Karma"
"Are You Ready for the Struggles Ahead?"
It's eerie. I can't wait to read them.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Another coffee break update: 29.5 week checkup
Total weight gain: 22 lbs.
Blood sugar (from Aug. 20 glucose tolerance test): 110 (v. good!)
Blood pressure: 100/58 or something low like that
Learning that the baby is head-down: priceless -- and let's hope he stays head down. They're awfully hard to deliver ass-first!
Daddy's home working on the nursery while I, regretfully, have to stay at work until 7:30 p.m.-ish. Then I'm going to use the pregnancy as an excuse to beg off. I really just can't work until 9 p.m. anymore -- especially on a Friday!
We visited our top-choice daycare today so Daddy could check it out. It seems neat, clean and well-run. I think neither of us really wants to think too much about me returning to work and putting Murky in daycare, though. This morning while I was in a meeting, I felt a jab in my right side, reached down to pat it, and am pretty sure I felt a hard little foot protruding outward. I know we're going to fall head-over-heels in love with this child, and while we try to keep positive about our life circumstances right now (commuter relationship in adjoining states; two houses with big mortgages but no equity; how to face relocating my mother, who is currently living with me and has severe emotional issues), it just gets really tough sometimes. This is not how either of us thought it would be, and I know we'll work through it and make the best of it, but it would be nice to get to a point where we can say "Phew! Glad we got through that!" But I guess the only way is through, day by day, chipping away at what needs to be done a little at a time. I guess life doesn't give us anything that we can't handle.
Blood sugar (from Aug. 20 glucose tolerance test): 110 (v. good!)
Blood pressure: 100/58 or something low like that
Learning that the baby is head-down: priceless -- and let's hope he stays head down. They're awfully hard to deliver ass-first!
Daddy's home working on the nursery while I, regretfully, have to stay at work until 7:30 p.m.-ish. Then I'm going to use the pregnancy as an excuse to beg off. I really just can't work until 9 p.m. anymore -- especially on a Friday!
We visited our top-choice daycare today so Daddy could check it out. It seems neat, clean and well-run. I think neither of us really wants to think too much about me returning to work and putting Murky in daycare, though. This morning while I was in a meeting, I felt a jab in my right side, reached down to pat it, and am pretty sure I felt a hard little foot protruding outward. I know we're going to fall head-over-heels in love with this child, and while we try to keep positive about our life circumstances right now (commuter relationship in adjoining states; two houses with big mortgages but no equity; how to face relocating my mother, who is currently living with me and has severe emotional issues), it just gets really tough sometimes. This is not how either of us thought it would be, and I know we'll work through it and make the best of it, but it would be nice to get to a point where we can say "Phew! Glad we got through that!" But I guess the only way is through, day by day, chipping away at what needs to be done a little at a time. I guess life doesn't give us anything that we can't handle.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Preparation for motherhood
I am cranky.
These days, everything takes at least 3 times the effort, and makes me 3 times as tired.
I know, I know. You say "you just wait until the baby gets here." But at least the tiredness at that time will have a point and a purpose, and I'll be taking care of our child. Right now, except for the melon-belly, I don't look any different and from an outsider's point of view I shouldn't be acting any differently. At least, that's how I feel -- that I should be able to work my usual now-and-again 12-hour days, then go back to work the next day, then come home and do chores for several hours, then repeat.
But I can't. I left work at 6:30 on Monday night and let coworkers handle a meeting that would go until 9:00. Today I left at 4:30, stopped by the grocery store on the way home, fixed some lame takeout on a plate, threw a couple of loads of laundry in, and spent the rest of the time on the couch. It damn near killed me. During the usual struggle getting the fitted sheet back onto the bed, I nearly started to cry. I am hugely disappointed in myself because I'm missing a black sock.
I really need to chill.
These days, everything takes at least 3 times the effort, and makes me 3 times as tired.
I know, I know. You say "you just wait until the baby gets here." But at least the tiredness at that time will have a point and a purpose, and I'll be taking care of our child. Right now, except for the melon-belly, I don't look any different and from an outsider's point of view I shouldn't be acting any differently. At least, that's how I feel -- that I should be able to work my usual now-and-again 12-hour days, then go back to work the next day, then come home and do chores for several hours, then repeat.
But I can't. I left work at 6:30 on Monday night and let coworkers handle a meeting that would go until 9:00. Today I left at 4:30, stopped by the grocery store on the way home, fixed some lame takeout on a plate, threw a couple of loads of laundry in, and spent the rest of the time on the couch. It damn near killed me. During the usual struggle getting the fitted sheet back onto the bed, I nearly started to cry. I am hugely disappointed in myself because I'm missing a black sock.
I really need to chill.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Baby-Slinger-To-Be; Nursery-In-Progress Photos
Today I splurged and ordered myself a SlingEZee baby sling. I know, I know -- one can't be completely sure one will like the whole "babywearing," "sling thing" in general, but the SlingEZee gets consistently excellent reviews no matter where you look. Plus I liked the pretty patterns it's available in. Hey, I'm pregnant and able to indulge in, like, no vices these days (except ice cream), so forgive me this one thing.
Murky is definitely going through a growth spurt. He's done this before -- his usual activity level slows for a couple of days, and Mommy's tummy subsequently grows noticeably larger!
Photos of the nursery in progress:
The obligatory "before" (i.e. mess) picture.
Look at those sexy mitered corners and seams! Oh, wait -- you can't see the seams? That's because they're mitered so well! The walls are going to be sage green, and all of the trim, windows, and doors will be painted white.
We held up the wallpaper border just to give us hope that, someday, the nursery will be done. Isn't it cute? It has lambies! If you look closely enough, you'll notice that the lambies don't have knees, yet they're jumping. This is cause for no end of hilarity in MurkyWorld. Hey, we never pretended it was called NormalWorld.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Busy, Busy Baby
Murky, I think it's really cute how you make the laptop jump and roll when it's resting on my belly!
Last weekend, Dad and I had the first of two all-day Saturday childbirth preparation classes. We learned the typical breathing exercises, labor positions, how to recognize the stages of labor, etc. Next week we get to tour the birth center. We also ordered the nursery furniture, bought the bedding and accessories, and worked on the nursery some more. I must say, I greatly admire Dad's mitering skills!
The hospital offers a breastfeeding class; I hope to sign up for one in the near future -- probably in October.
Tonight, I watched some MSNBC stuff about the state of the world and politics, and then there was a Dateline special on a horrible home invasion/triple murder that took place recently. How can we possibly hope to raise a normal, well-adjusted kid with so much crap going on all around us? I guess every generation of parents feels that way, but sometimes it just seems like the odds are stacked against this new crop of little ones. Global warming, overpopulation, pollution, corruption...it goes on and on. I know they'll somehow find a way to overcome, or at least deal with, all of it, but I personally want to do everything I can in the meantime to make the world a happier, more human place. I want to remember, on a daily basis, that I am fortunate to have so many blessings, and that I should cherish them: my partner, my family, my friends, my work, my environment, my health, and, of course, my little boy (ETA: TBA, of course!).
A lot of people have few, or even none, of those things.
Last weekend, Dad and I had the first of two all-day Saturday childbirth preparation classes. We learned the typical breathing exercises, labor positions, how to recognize the stages of labor, etc. Next week we get to tour the birth center. We also ordered the nursery furniture, bought the bedding and accessories, and worked on the nursery some more. I must say, I greatly admire Dad's mitering skills!
The hospital offers a breastfeeding class; I hope to sign up for one in the near future -- probably in October.
Tonight, I watched some MSNBC stuff about the state of the world and politics, and then there was a Dateline special on a horrible home invasion/triple murder that took place recently. How can we possibly hope to raise a normal, well-adjusted kid with so much crap going on all around us? I guess every generation of parents feels that way, but sometimes it just seems like the odds are stacked against this new crop of little ones. Global warming, overpopulation, pollution, corruption...it goes on and on. I know they'll somehow find a way to overcome, or at least deal with, all of it, but I personally want to do everything I can in the meantime to make the world a happier, more human place. I want to remember, on a daily basis, that I am fortunate to have so many blessings, and that I should cherish them: my partner, my family, my friends, my work, my environment, my health, and, of course, my little boy (ETA: TBA, of course!).
A lot of people have few, or even none, of those things.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
New Car Adventures (or, Gotta Love CT Taxes!)
Registration Fee: $75.00
Non-Emissions Fee: $40.00
Title Search Fee: $25.00
Federal Clean Air Act Fee: $10.00
Lien Fee: $10.00
License Plate Fee: $5.00
Greenhouse Gas Reduction Fee: $5.00
Plus 6% CT sales tax on the purchase price of the vehicle, paid in full, all due when I register my car at the DMV.
I particularly love the "Non-Emissions Fee" -- they're charging me $40.00 because I am registering a new car, which is not subject to an emissions test (which costs $40.00). Guess they have to get their $40.00 either way, even though they don't actually have to do anything to my car.
As for the Clean Air Act and Greenhouse Gas Reduction fees: What, exactly, is my $15.00 going to? The federal government? Planting trees? How does my money directly clean the air and reduce greenhouse gases?
Non-Emissions Fee: $40.00
Title Search Fee: $25.00
Federal Clean Air Act Fee: $10.00
Lien Fee: $10.00
License Plate Fee: $5.00
Greenhouse Gas Reduction Fee: $5.00
Plus 6% CT sales tax on the purchase price of the vehicle, paid in full, all due when I register my car at the DMV.
I particularly love the "Non-Emissions Fee" -- they're charging me $40.00 because I am registering a new car, which is not subject to an emissions test (which costs $40.00). Guess they have to get their $40.00 either way, even though they don't actually have to do anything to my car.
As for the Clean Air Act and Greenhouse Gas Reduction fees: What, exactly, is my $15.00 going to? The federal government? Planting trees? How does my money directly clean the air and reduce greenhouse gases?
Monday, September 3, 2007
New Addition to the Murky Family!
No, Murky hasn't decided to make an early appearance, thank goodness -- but here's a picture of Mama's new car, which we'll be picking up on Saturday:
Just think -- we'll be able to heft little Murky around in a 4-door, safe, convenient auto that fits all of his accoutrements (stroller, diaper bags, Chinese nanny -- just kidding)! As you know, I'm currently driving an Acura sport coupe. It is...shall we say...less than practical: sucks in the snow (new car is 4wd), sits low to the ground, and only has 2 doors (ever tried to get a baby in a car seat in and out of a low-slung coupe?).
I'm very excited. I know MurkyDad is excited too, but probably he's just excited to be done with the whole agonizing car-shopping process. But he was very sweet and helpful throughout the whole process. And who knows? He may be buying a sweet Honda Fit in the next year or so! I think he fell in love at the dealership...
Just think -- we'll be able to heft little Murky around in a 4-door, safe, convenient auto that fits all of his accoutrements (stroller, diaper bags, Chinese nanny -- just kidding)! As you know, I'm currently driving an Acura sport coupe. It is...shall we say...less than practical: sucks in the snow (new car is 4wd), sits low to the ground, and only has 2 doors (ever tried to get a baby in a car seat in and out of a low-slung coupe?).
I'm very excited. I know MurkyDad is excited too, but probably he's just excited to be done with the whole agonizing car-shopping process. But he was very sweet and helpful throughout the whole process. And who knows? He may be buying a sweet Honda Fit in the next year or so! I think he fell in love at the dealership...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)