Feeling Better, Feeling Worse

Physically, I'm feeling much better. My breast isn't nearly as swollen and hard and tender as it was, and the drainage incision is healing nicely. I'll be on antibiotics for ten more days, though. Today, MDad and Andrew and I all went to my OB's office for a breast checkup -- a sign of how often I've been there lately was that the nurse immediately remembered Andrew's name, like he was an old friend!

Emotionally, I'm a little unstable: Tomorrow morning, Andrew starts daycare, and although I'm only doing mornings this week (unless things go way smoother than I thought), it's still going to be a big change. Tonight MDad and Andrew and I went out to On the Border to "celebrate" the last night of maternity leave. I had a margarita, Dad had a ginger ale, and Andrew slept the whole time (since he'd missed most of his nap time during the day today). We were a bit emotional when MDad had to leave for MA after dinner. It's been nice being a family together, every day, all day. I don't know how military wives (or husbands, for that matter) do it. It's going to be hard enough having Daddy a hundred miles away during the week; I can't imagine him being in Iraq or Afghanistan. He's been so much a part of Andrew's life for the past 12 weeks, I can't fathom evenings without his songs and his jokes and his strong arms holding our impossibly tiny little boy. Somehow, I suppose, we will manage.

After Dad left tonight, I realized how absolutely organized I'll need to be during the week. I've got a list of items to remember taped to the cabinet by the front door; a sort of checklist for each morning as I leave. I've also got a list of chores and tasks to do each evening (i.e. feed and water the animals, get the breast pump bag together, etc.) This is essential for someone as scatterbrained as I am, and these days I'm even worse, what with Mommy Brain and all.

I've got us on a tight schedule for the mornings, realizing that there's some "play," since I don't technically have to be to work until 9:00 a.m. Our full-time days might look like this -- of course, I'll be sure to blog about them if they don't!:

6:00 Alarm goes off (unless A has already woken me up to nurse)
6:20-7:00 Get (both of us) dressed, finish packing bags (bottles, etc.), fill out daily infant contact sheet for daycare
7:00 Leave the house
7:05-7:15 Drop off Andrew at "school"
8:00 Arrive at work -- an hour of quiet time before the rest of the staff arrive.
9:00 Pumping session #1
12:00 Pumping session #2 (during 1/2 hour lunch break)
3:00 Pumping session #3
4:00 Leave work
4:30 Pick up Andrew from daycare
5:00-7:30 Evening routine: a nursing session or two, a bath, video chat with Dad and Nan, storytime.
7:30-9:00 Mommy time (dinner, shower, computer time). Feed the dog and cats, clean the litterbox, pay bills, throw in some laundry, etc. Oh my.
9:00 Bedtime.

I'd like to get Andrew on a 3-hour nursing schedule as much as is possible. If I can nurse him at, say 6:00 p.m., he'll most likely be fairly good-natured for a video chat at 6:30-ish, and then it's bathtime and storytime and bed...by 9:00-ish, which will be my bedtime, he should be ready for another feeding, which might (if I'm very lucky) carry him for 5 or 6 hours during the night. He may only wake to feed once (he's been doing this around 3 a.m.), and then again around 6 a.m. -- which is wakeup time anyway!

I can't imagine having tried any of this earlier in Andrew's development. Many women go back to work when their babies are 6 weeks old; Andrew was nowhere NEAR any sort of schedule then, and he was waking at least 3 times in the night at that point. Not that this is going to be easy, mind you, but there's a BIG difference between a 6-week-old and a 12-week-old.